brain crabs

For our first full day in Beijing we decided to go see the Forbidden City. We took the subway there and before we could go inside we were ambushed by two young Chinese people. They took us to the nearby museum to see some of their artwork that was being displayed in a side building. They gave us tea and told us about the meanings of each painting. Then they asked us to buy one. Everyone in China has got a hustle. It is unbelievable. So, of course, we bought one. We are totally vulnerable to the “I’m-a-starving- artist-please-please-please-help-me-out” bit, even if it’s a lie.
We eventually made it through the front gate of the Forbidden City, under the shadow of the giant Chairman Mao painting. Wow. This might be the most incredible thing I have ever seen. The City goes on and on and on, through these beautiful gates and palaces that still have the emperor’s thrones in them. Everytime we thought we were near the end, we would walk up some stairs and there would be this amazing vista with a view of all of these smaller palace buildings and the skyline of Beijing in the backround. It was breathtaking like, “I can’t really be here..this must be a dream.” It took us a little over an hour to walk the length of the Forbidden City. Then we were on the other side and had to walk back to our subway stop. The neighborhood to the east of the City’s wall seems to be military/government housing, so it was pretty well kept up and briming with luxury sedans. Beijing is full of contrasts.
After a while, our stomaches got the better of us and we decided to stop for some lunch. There were many small restaurants along the avenue we were walking on, but many had meats hanging in their windows and no visible English menu. I do not yet know how to say, “I don’t eat meat” in Mandarin. We settled on a place that looked relatively safe. It said “fusion” on the front in English. As soon as we entered the place, we knew we were in for it. The dining room was done up as though you’d offered a pimp a pile of money and said, “Make this place look real fancy and classy.” It was ghetto fab, complete with periwinkle velvet boothes, a display of 4 foot high brass flowers in glass case with fishtank gravel at the bottom, and white furry walls. Yes, that’s right, shag carpet on the walls. Oh. My. God. And you haven’t even heard about the bathroom yet. First, though, let me say the food was awful. Awful like it was cold and tasted of dirty dishwater. But, in the spirt of a “western fusion” restaurant (or at least the Chinese idea of a western restaurant), they kept bringing us bits of bread and refilling our glasses. Like every two minutes. And they all basically stood around and watched us each, as we were pretty much the only people there. It was beyond surreal.
Now, on to the bathrooms. The wallpaper was some sort of pencil drawing print that looked a lot like Brooke Shields portraits. The sinks, however, were the real prize; a metal heart shaped basin attatched to a woman’s backside with the two legs holding it up. The best part is that these big, red, bent-over woman parts were clearly life casts! Someone posed for these sinks. The more pimp-like, the better, must be the motto of this place.
Totally overwhelmed, we made our way to the subway station and caught the train back to Brendan’s apartment. On our walk from the station, to his place, we found an atm. We gave it a try and were pleasantly surprised to find the “insert your card” and “enter your pin” cues in English. Oddly, those were the only English cues, and the rest of the process was in Mandrin. We tried to guess, but the cues didn’t follow a format we knew (of course, they didn’t… this is China), so we went home empty handed. This is proving to be quite a delema, as most stores here do not accept credit cards. Beijing is many things, however, convenient is not one of them.
We met Brendan for dinner later on, and he took us to another little hidden spot that served a sort of Chinese fondue. We got a big copper pot filled with broth on a burner at our table. Then we got a dipping sauce that looked totally disgusting, but was actually delicious, and all sorts of tofu and veggies and meat for in the broth. It was really tasty, which was good, cause Jon and I hadn’t managed to negotiate much food for ourselves during the day.
We ended another day totally exhausted and begging Brendan to quit his job, so he can show us around all the time. This place is totally intense.

This entry was posted by jon on Thursday, December 15th, 2005 at 10:47 pm and is filed under personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.